i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
