will power is for people who don't want to get laid
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Still dying that you shit outside
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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