I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
