the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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