Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
