I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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