Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
