I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
