Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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