Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
