I hope mine doesn't look like that
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
