If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we're so committed to being not committed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
