i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
