Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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