I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
