Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
