I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
