Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
