Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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