True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize