WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
