He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
