The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
