Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
