Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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