Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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