u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
how does that bad decision feel?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
