addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize