all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
