god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
