): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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