The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
