Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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