Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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