I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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