Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
