She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
