Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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