I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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