time to smoke my breakfast
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
