I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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