you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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