Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
