I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
