why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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