been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
