the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
