Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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