just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
