I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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