in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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