And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Text me some of your sweat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
