and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
