Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
