ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
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Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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