please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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