I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
