I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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